Chapter 1
Fast Elvis felt uneasy as he traveled the canyon. A mounting tension was growing in the pit of his being. Elvis slowly looked around. The canyon walls were high and stifling. A hidden gunman could be anywhere, anxiously awaiting him. And why not? Fast Elvis Conoco now a wanted man. He had never considered himself a bad man, but the incident at the Crossing had changed all that.
Elvis stopped his horse, listened for any sound. But still he sensed that something was wrong. He remembered what started it all. The day he bumped into Deadwood Slim, the gunfighter. Slim had challenged Elvis to a gunfight. Elvis did the only honorable thing he could do; shoot Deadwood Slim in the back. Now he was a gunslinger. But people were afraid of him. He was considered a tough man.
Feeling much better, Fast Elvis continued down the canyon. As he traveled, he thought of the incident at the Crossing. Why had so much happened to someone whom everyone was so fond? And why was he headed back to the Crossing?
It seemed like only yesterday he was living in a boarding house in Prescott in the tough side of town where the demimonde reside. And then he ran against Trigger Mortis. Mortis had heard that Elvis was the 141st fastest gun in he west. Trigger wanted to be 140th, so he called Elvis out. Now he was faced with a high noon shootout. Elvis preferred to shoot from cover, or from behind.
But before they could draw their weapons and fire. Smoke and flame belched from the guns of a tall, thin man with a droopy moustache wearing a black suit and hat.
"Hold! I say hold! You unruly ruffians, cease and desist! Unhand that armament expeditiously! This synergy is not conducive to your health! For, if you have a combative attempt to ventilate each other, you will face the wrath of Lester Tester, lawman!" And there he was, Lester Tester U S Marshall, with two Walker Colt 44 revolvers trained on Fast Elvis and Trigger Mortis.
Slowly, Lester the lawman holstered his Walker Colts, picked up his double-barrel 10 gauge shot gun and walked between the two men, "Good, good, now that I have your attention, it is my duty, nay, pleasure to inform you that I have you surrounded! Any attempt to commit homicide will be seen as a personal attack upon the judicial system of these United States!" Tester exclaimed.
And so it was that Fast Elvis was hauled before the local magistrate. Elvis was fined two dollars and a day in jail.
While in jail Elvis met the Catamount Kid, so called because of his fondness for stray cats. Everywhere he went he would show kindness to cats. Feeding them, grooming them, giving them a place to stay. It was rumored that he kept a guitar company in business.
The Catamount Kid was a would-be bounty hunter who had never collected a bounty. He had wanted to be a peace officer, but he really was not an authority figure. Also, when excited, he would begin to twitch and jump, a la St. Vitus Dance.
The Kid had three and a half notches on his gun, which he earned by getting tangled up in a mesquite tree avoiding a cattle stampede. The reason Catamount Kid was in jail was because he had mistook the town banker, Mr. Shields, for a bank robber known as KaBoom Curtis, wanted by Wells Fargo.
The Kid had ridden...er walked, into town that morning. His horse, Tabby, had sprung a shoe and he was looking for the livery stable. As he was about to enter the livery, he noticed a familiar face entering the bank. Quickly whipping out his wanted posters and at the same time scattering them all over the street, he identified the man going into the bank as KaBoom Curtis, the outlaw. Catamount then drew his gun, and shakily started walking towards his prey. But before he could act, Deputy U S Marshall Tiny Rogers, grabbed the Kid by the collar and said, "I say, y'all be going to jail boy."
"What? " "What did I do?" replied Catamount, as he tried to release himself from Rogers"s grip.
"Stranger, ya"ll see, see them there papers you dropped?" Tiny demanded. "That there is a jailing offense!"
"But I'm a bonified bounty hunter, after a desp, despera, desper, uhh, bad guy!" the Kid said.
"No matter, but when ya"ll mess up my town, then there is Hades to pay." Rogers said as he led Catamount to jail.
The big bad bonified bounty hunter, Catamount Kid, had been arrested.... for littering.
"So Elvis, what cha’ in for?" Exclaimed Kid, as he sat in his cell. "I was about to have a gunfight." replied Elvis, as he watched a cockroach scurry under his bed. “ It’s a good thing too, for I was about to kill me another man. And all I want is to be left alone. Next thing I know I'm in jail. What about you?'
A dark expression came over Catamount's face as he stated, " I was arrested for trying to capture a outlaw. Why, isn't it a tragedy that criminals can walk around scott free, and a bonified bounty hunter has to spend time in jail? "
The two had continued their conversation late into the day, concluding that there were many injustices in this world. Later, when they were released they teamed up with a vaquero, and they had rustled...
Fast Elvis was stirred out of his retrospective look at his life by a faint wisp of smoke on the horizon.
Twenty miles away, Honest Sancho was lost. Even though he had the blood of his Yaqui ancestors running through his veins, Sancho had no sense of direction.
As soon as he was out of sight of ranch or town he would invariably have to depend on his horse, Capitan, to take him where he wished to go. It was a job Capitan did willingly ever since the day Sancho had led Capitan through a rockslide and into a den of rattlesnakes.
" Que diablos es esto? Did I come from this way to the East, or did I come that way to the West? And which way is West? Ay, caray!"
His horse, anxious to be moving on, stamped his hoof and snorted. " Espera, Capitan, we must think of where we are" Sancho said, through watery eyes. Capitan turned his head to look at Sancho, rolled his eyes and snorted once again. He then started walking towards the South.
" Ah, so you know the way? Que bueno!". Sancho said sniffling and nodding approvingly.
Honest Sancho had been an unwilling soldier in the Mexican army, in the infamous Cordada. Just over two years ago he had fled the Cordada. He had no desire to die fighting Apaches. His real name was Sancho Gonzales. He was known as Honest Sancho when he ran a new and used burro business. He had been run out of town due to some irregular business practices.
At the moment, besides being run out of town, Sancho was also heart-broken. His fiancée, the beautiful but very well mannered, Julianna, had just dismissed him from her life. Sancho, being a true man, had said nothing. He slowly rode away. When he was out of the beautiful Julianna's (who was also very well mannered) sight, Sancho began to bawl like a baby.
"I am so lost, figuratively as well as literally!" Sancho exclaimed, "Why, why does she not love me? Oh! The pain. My heart is breaking. What am I to do?" And so he continued, on and on, sounding like a lovesick mule. Why, it was enough to make you puke.
Sancho's caterwauling did not go unnoticed. In a wooded area a vaquero, Arnulfo Chombe, sat at his camp, about to enjoy a supper of tamales and a cup of coffee. He heard the sobbing and crying getting closer. "Ay, I know this one! It is a woman that has that pobre diablo whimpering."
Arnulfo Chombe stood up and as Sancho rode into camp and stated, " Buenas tardes, amigo, how may I help you? I was about to have supper, will you not join me?"
"Gracias amigo, I am quite hungry" Sancho stated wiping his eyes, realizing he had not eaten since leaving the beautiful but very well mannered Juliana.
"Amigo my name is Sancho Gonzales, a ex-soldado of Capitan Emilio Kosterlitzky and the infamous Cordada. But please, call me Honest Sancho " Sancho said as he composed himself and dismounted.
Arnulfo, not to be out done, replied, "Bueno, mucho gusto, I am Arnulfo Chombe heir to the hacienda Cantinflas, but presently on a sabbatical, travelling the country".
"Oh? So I see that you’re an unemployed vaquero also. " Sancho said. Arnulfo smiled and nodded. "Tell me Arnulfo..." "Paco" Arnulfo interjected. "Huh?" Sancho said with a perplexed look on his face. "Call me Paco." Arnulfo stated.
"Why, do they call you Paco?" Sancho was puzzled. Arnulfo replied, "Ah senor, it is a sad story. You see for two years I and two other vaqueros rode together. We were a team, branding, roping, amansando broncos. There was nothing we could not do. But my companieros were Americanos. They could not pronounce my name, it sounded like Are-new-flow Chom-by. Ay, que burros! They would butcher my name. Soooo.I told them to call me "Paco" And that, senor, is what I want you to call me. De todos modos, we ran into some trouble with the la ley. The deputies made it difficult for us and we disbanded. One went to being a bounty hunter. The other, well pues, a gunslinger who takes no chances and shoots people in the back.”
"Oh, I see." said Sancho removing his sombero and scratching his head. "But, tell me ...Paco, I left the Rancho Malpais, a hour ago and now I don't know where I am."
"The Rancho Malpais?" Paco exclaimed, "Why, do you not know? The Rancho Malpais is the home of Cortina the famous bandit."
"Cortina! The outlaw! But that is impossible. The cordada has been looking for him for years. It is said that he keeps to the mountains." Sancho replied. "Besides the rancho is owned by el viejo Godines"
"Ay, que burro! Of course, he is Godines, Godines Cortina, owner of the Rancho Malpais." Paco said. " By all the stars in heaven, the cordada could not catch a field mouse in a cage!"
"But I was courting Godines's daughter, Juliana!" Sancho said dumbfounded. "Ah, si? Julianna? Ay, now there is a woman! I'm told she has dark brown hair, beautiful brown eyes, and a smile that will make your heart ache. It is said that she is very well mannered, this is true?" Paco inquired with interest.
Sancho was struck with a sharp pain in his chest and as he pushed away the branch that had poked him, said, "Not that you would notice, just hours ago she told me to leave.
"Claro, I know the story" Paco nodded. " At first it's I love you so, my little empanada. Despues, it's leave me alone, I can't stand the sight of you!"
"Bueno pues, Sancho I'm going to Yuma, my amigos the Americanos, are to meet me there. Would you like to join me?" Paco asked. " Si, I will go with you, there is nothing for me here.
Sancho sat at the campfire with Paco. The two vaqueros talked about deserts, waterholes, guns and women late into the night, concluding that there were many injustices in this world.
The town of Yuma, also known as Cross Hares Crossing, was a wonderfully wicked place. It could boast one stage stop, a bordello, numerous businesses and twelve saloons and one infamous prison. Every day someone would be ventilated, or die of some other man made illness. It wasn't until one year that they had the first legal death of unnatural causes. And, with all the pomp and circumstance that was awarded to the dearly departed, a Mr. Jenkins who had died by asphyxiation of the lungs, administered by 1 1/4 " hemp rope and a Mesquite tree, Mr. Jenkins would have been proud.
Cross Hares Crossing was named after two ill-tempered jackrabbits, which use to run out of their burrow and bite settlers. They met their end by an ill tempered mountain man, Josiah Stone, who had a powerful hankerin' for rabbit stew and carried a sharp knife.
Josiah Stone had liked the location, so decided to stop his wandering, and open a business. Other settlers followed suit. Pretty soon there was the makings of a little town. But on Josiah's mind was to get rich quick. He looked around and thought, the best way to do that was to sell liquor. Now, Josiah, never one to split hairs, had liked the town of Tucson, so promptly built a saloon and named it " The Tucson".
Josiah's only problem was that he had no liquor to sell. The deal he had worked out with his supplier had bottomed out. Left to fend for himself, he tried all sorts of concoctions to make passable whiskey.
One day, while experimenting on a new batch, he sensed that someone was watching him. Josiah slowly turned around and saw a magnificent horse, an Andalusan. It's rider, a Mescalero Apache, starred directly at Josiah's still for two minutes. Finally he said, " Me hear white man need whiskey. This true?"
Josiah Stone irritably replied," Yes I do, and what business is it of yours?" " Hmmmm. You heap ill-tempered." the Mescalero stated. " Me come here to sell you liquor. Me always sell liquor to white man."
Josiah interest showed as he stated, " Can you sell me more than just a bottle? I mean do you have lots of whiskey?" The Mescalero nodded and said, " Me sell you all the liquor you need. Have boomin' business, family help me, keeps cost low, profit high."
"Well now" Josiah said, " I think you got yourself a deal, my name is Stone, Josiah Stone." " My name is One Moccasin Short." the Mescalero replied.
"Where did you learn how to make whiskey?" Josiah wanted to know. Mangas smiled, " Mexicans taught me to make tequila. It alot like whiskey. But, they not get rich. They drink up the profits. They pay by giving me this fancy horse."
Josiah Stone and Mangas sat down to work out the details on their business venture. After they reached an agreeable contract, Josiah commented, "I hear that you Injuns like to smoke the peace pipe before you make a treaty. Is that true?" "Yes. We do that to stall for time. White man is always impatient, wants things done yesterday. We feel good seeing him squrming, getting restless. That's why we take our time talking, white man get irritated. It very funny." Mangas stated. Mangas smiled and quickly added, "Hmmm. maybe I should not tell Indian secrets."
Mangas had been selling liquor to the white man going on five years. He had made it his trade and was very good at it. His teachers were a rough group of bandits, know as Los Degüellos.
Los Degüellos! The English translation meant The Cutthroats. And not a finer bunch of bandits you would find. Cattle rustling, bank robbery, horse thievery and train robbery were their mainstay, though a sideline was making Tequila.
They operated out of the Rancho Malpais. Cortina, the leader, had his hands full. He had to help plan and coordinate their unlawful activities, run a ranch, watch over daughter Julianna's suitors and keep daughter Josefina and her pet raven Jose, out of mischief.
Cortina's praetorian guard included Feo, Chico, Nepumencino, Chato, Cuervo el Tuerto, Guillermo el Pistolero and his brother in law, Trevor Douglas Washington Smith, who was of course, married to Cortina's sister, Esperanza Cortina de Grant de Koury de Jackson de Townsend de Matlin and now de Smith.
"Ya Basta!" Cortina yelled, as he paced to and fro. "Tomorrow we ride to the Crossing! I want Sancho! He stole my best caballo!" "But Jefe," Chato stated, "You gave Mangas el Indio, your best caballo. Besides you told Julianna to give El Burro any horse he wanted." "Yes, but now they have parted ways! And I did not mean she could give him Gavilan!" Cortina fumed. "He was useful to us, Jefe, let him keep the horse, you always pay outsiders with their choice of horses" Chico said. "No! No one is going to steal one of my magnificent horses and get away! Tomorrow we ride!" Cortina exclaimed. His footsteps echoed as he stormed from the room.
Chico and Chato just shook their heads for they knew that when Cortina was angry there was no stopping him. "What is wrong with Papa?" Josefina asked, as Cortina passed her in the hall, muttering to himself. Chato replied, " Tu sabes Fina, he can get very worked up about things." " Oh? So he is still mad about Gavilain." Josefina stated. "Well, has anyone seen Jose? He was with me for a moment and then he flew away. I think he spotted and owl." "No senorita, we have not seen that bird. Perhaps he is with Feo." Chico said as he winked at Chato. "Si," Chato replied, "I did see Feo with his knife and some black feathers in his hand." Josefina shook her head and stated, "Ay, you burros are impossible!"
"Ven para 'ca, my leetle friend, I weel not harm jou." Feo stated as he spotted Josefina's raven on the back of Doloroso, the ranch's most cantankerous mule. "Thass eet, mi amigo, stay right there!" And as Feo quietly closed in on Jose the raven, little did he know that Doloroso was preparing himself for one of his tremendous kicks…
As morning broke over Cross Hares Crossing, approaching from the South was Honest Sancho and Paco. From the North rode Fast Elvis and from the Southwest rode Cortina and his praetorian guard. Along the boardwalk in Cross Hares stood the Catamount Kid. As the Kid glanced to the North, he recognized Fast Elvis and strolled out into the street.
"Well howdy Elvis, I didn't really think you would be back this way." Catamount said. A smile came to their faces as they shook hands. "Don't mean to run you off, Elvis but Cortina is rumored to be a heading this way." "Cortina huh? Well it's time I had to face him." Elvis said with a worried look on his face.
"Excuse me amigos, but remember me?" Paco yelled as he halted his horse. Fast Elvis and the Catamount Kid turned. "Well I'll be durned, if it ain't old Paco!" Elvis exclaimed. Catamount shook hands with Paco and said," Last time I saw you you were being led off to jail by the Federales!" "Si, that is true, but I paid Coronel Mondragon a twenty peso gold piece and he realized that I was innocent." Paco replied with a knowing smile.
"Sancho, come here, these are the two cowboys I was talking about! This is Elvis and that's Kid." Paco stated. Sancho slowly rode up to the trio, "Sancho, huh? Pleased to meet yuh." Catamount said. "Yuh couldn't of come at a better time, Paco, Cortina is headed this way." Elvis stated.
"Cortina? Ay, carramba!" Sancho wailed. "Oh? You know the man, then?" Elvis asked Sancho. " Well, you see amigo, his daughter Julianna was my fiancee." Sancho replied. Elvis shook his head and replied, "Well don't that just take all..."
From the South side of town, Cortina and his fellow outlaws approached the livery. As Cortina dismounted he looked to the North and noticed Fast Elvis and Honest Sancho. "Mira muchachos, quien esta aqui. It's Elvis and Sancho. Sancho is lost again, I'm thinking, or he would be nowhere near the Crossing. " At that statement the bandidos broke out in laughter. As they turned, they slowly fanned out into the street to begin the gunman's walk.
Fast Elvis, Paco, the Catamount Kid, and Honest Sancho started forward. Opposite them were Cortina, Feo, Chico, Nepumencino, Chato, Cuervo el Tuerto, Guillermo el Pistolero and Trevor Douglas Washington Smith. Twenty feet away from each other they stopped.
To be continued…